It was during the early days of the Shreek rebellion that Terik went about dividing his brain. Terik had been hired by the militia as their tactical intelligence logician, and he performed his job well. It was through mathematical logic that he devised many of his great military strategies. There was the elliptical formation, with the two axis equal so as to form a circle, which meant there were zero corners for the enemy to hide behind. His distributional aiming was most clever, where in instead of training ten out of every hundred marksmen to shoot true, train a hundred marksmen to each fire in a random direction within a range of the target such that on average the target has been hit.

Terik’s mind must have been made of clever parts, and the Shreek rebellion progressed for it. But eventually even the tactics of Terik struggled against the weight of the king’s army, whom were all completely made of steel and dense earthen metals that made them hard to topple. One morning it struck Terik that alone, he could no longer strategize past the king’s army. Dressed in his gown, Terik ran down to the dungeons of the barracks where it was cold and he rattled like a taught string.

“Bring me the Mind Splitter!” he called to his lackey, Yurpos, who hefted great puddles of his own slime along with the machine itself. The machine was made of two-hundred tubes both blue and red and these ran between two chambers. Terik placed his mind into one of the chambers and had Yurpos start the Mind Splitter. As well as power, the Mind Splitter also had a face, for it helped the operator navigate the progress of the split. Yurpos watched that digital visage, whose eyes seemed glassy as it was looking into itself like one studies the contents of their stomach through pops and pains in the tummy. Eventually the Mind Splitter began to both scowl and smile, a good sign, and Terik and his mind jumped about.

When it was all done, Yurpos asked, “Where do I put these?” and Terik replied back in my head. Terik then awoke and blinked one eye, then Terik awoke again and blinked the other eye. His nose had an itch and so he grabbed the handkerchief from his pocket with his right arm. His left arm came and snatched away the handkerchief and put it right back. Exhausted from the operation, both sides asked Yurpos for a drink, but only one had access to the mouth and so only asked for one drink. When Yurpos arrived, the right hand snatched the glass, intent on quickly glugging it, only to be usurped by the left foot that tripped up the right, caught the glass, and emptied it in one swig. Then both realized that both their thirsts had been quenched by only actions from the left, and a trace was written and signed by both the left and right hand and they agreed to work for the better of the both.

The found some steel twine and two cups, which they attached just below the ear. A language involving taps and flicks was established, which the hands did upon the surface of the cups, and this they used to directly communicate. A single flick meant, “good day, good sir,” followed by a second: “get your fingers off the surface of my pastry.” Three flicks at once, “I’m tired and need to sit down,” but if delivered in a slight staccato: “clear out! The roof is on fire!”

It was through this ingenious messaging that they, that is Ter and Ik, arrived at the Military Operating Room where operation of the most militaristic kind were taking place. Terk shook the hands of the general and the sergeant, Ik shook the hands of the colonel and the major. All gruffed up their mustaches in great pleasure at seeing Terik return from the Mind Splitter in two. The general grabbed his baton from his waist and hit it hard against a desk, completely destroying it. Everyone cheered for this was a signal of pure joy from the man. Ik then instructed Ter to speak to everyone and Ik did just this. Ik told them about his favourite dessert, the Orifice Pie, and how spotted and holed it was and how this meant that you could smell it from any direction because the smoke wafted from all sides. About the Self-Aware Sands of Sagood, which through cascading avalanches that follow an undeniable power-law, did the dunes become conscious and hence built a model of themselves, and that it was once a great sage for the nearby people’s to visit but then it developed and Ego and this riddled the sandy mind with all sorts of selfish ideals and it stopped talking about anything other than itself. Oh and had they heard about the time Ik had caught a Gulping Space Swallow? but here did ten flicks come fast and through the cup by Ik’s ear which all in one go told him: “What are you doing! Oh you fool, you fool, you are making a fool of yourself. I told you to speak to everyone and when I did that I meant speak to them about our military plans, not about whatever gobble was on your mind. How I wish I had control of a mouth and then I could use my sense and do away with your senselessness.”

Ik flicked right back to Ter, and he was not one to retaliate or get upset quickly and even acknowledged his mistake. He flicked four flicks all at once and then eight more very slowly, in a quarter-note pattern: “Ah, silly me, my sincere apologies. Here’s an idea: although you can’t control this mouth, you can control one ear. That is all we need, if we carry an Lugverter, which I happen to have in my pocket right here.”

“Perfect, my fellow Ik. I must say it’s a privilege to share this head cavity with you,” send via four taps and two flicks.